Tips and Advice on Go Etiquette

I've made terrible mistakes over the years when playing Go. And the biggest, more important ones were not moves in games or tournaments, they were people mistakes. I've had my share of friendship-ending and friendship-building attitudes, and it's not nice to not have control over this topic. After all, our deepest dependency, since the beginning of the human race, has been the same other people, we depend on the relationships with them for healthy survival, both socially and psychologically, like it or not.

We tend to focus too much on teaching and learning the game itself, without focusing at least a good portion of our time explicitly into the relationship topic. But, as this AI era might have taught you, without another person, the game can easily become void or much less meaningful, at least in comparison to what it can be as a social experience.

That's where Go etiquette comes into play: it is a convention, a solution to avoiding bad human interactions and highlighting the good ones. And the solution part should be the main point whenever teaching one of these rules, because it's not about being pedantic or blindly following dogmas, it's about keeping people sane, it's about filtering nuisance, it's about avoiding probably the biggest evil of social interaction: shame.

When teaching Go etiquette, the fundamentals are not the basic or most common rules but the explanations behind them. The explanations are the true dependency of the etiquette system; if you ignore them, the system won't be fully reproducible, there will be no taming it. If you can't explain the reason for each rule, you will find yourself someday in an unusual situation in which you will think you have to apply rule A when, in fact, you would have to instead apply rule B; and that's simply because the much more subtle core of the circumstances changed. This system isn't unlike Go, where we have a reasonably small set of proverbs but bluntly applying them can't get you past 10 kyu; knowing when and why apply a proverb is inextricably tied to why apply a proverb.

Recently, I've been finding a lot of inklings of improvements to myself and the Go community by examining parallels to other related communities, like Jiu Jitsu. Probably my favorite unexpected source is Nick Albin's rambles on his YouTube channel, Chewjitsu. The Jiu Jitsu community is much more socially developed than the Western Go community, there's been much more successful experimentation.

This article might have follow-ups in the future as I get feedback from it, and due to there being so many etiquette rules and good practices...

I currently have 8+ years of experience with this game (1-2 dan on KGS), with a bonus of living and playing for 1 year in Europe — while studying engineering — and 1 semester in South Korea. Besides all that I have also practiced competitive swimming (4 years), competitive Water Polo (5 years) and Crossfit (1.5 year), so I do believe I have some depth when it comes to the practical part, even though I'm not a psychologist nor have I really reached the pinnacle in any of those sports.

Nevertheless, more importantly, I have made a bazillion mistakes, so at least you will for sure learn a ton of the "don't"s from me.

Here go some of my most valuable tips, which you might find elsewhere, but, in my opinion, not with the same nuance, completeness or attention to pitfalls...

The numbering of the items in the next sections is purely for ease of reference, i.e., there's no hierarchy in the rule set I expose below.

1. Smiling and being open minded are probably the MVPs of etiquette and best practices. You can basically do everything else and yet people will probably prefer playing with an ignorant, smiling, happy player.
   • Oftentimes we don't realize we are treating the other badly. The best way of solving this problem is using the other's emotions as feedback on your attitude: try to make an effort of recognizing negative emotions on his or her face and, right then and there ask what is bugging him or her.
     • Research shows couples which try to defuse negative emotions the quickest are the happiest, not those which try to avoid discussions.
2. Don't make noises with your stone bowl while you're thinking.
   • Some people told me — hoping for an excuse — shuffling the stones calms them down. When it comes to etiquette your point of view is not enough for establishing a good practice or getting absolved. If something is a good practice for you but annoys everyone else, please stop.

   

3. If you feel like an attitude of yours or of someone else will or is making you ashamed, try your best to shake it off. Shame is also a social spiral , people get ashamed for causing shame. Slowly, this contagiousness will annoy other people, and you might get labeled as the root.
4. Don't place-and-slide the stones, it's distracting and adds an unnecessary visual layer to your movement.
   • And some people use it to cheat, since they can gather some info about where they will ultimately move the stone while watching the other player's facial expressions.
   • I've seen people get really pissed at players who do this sort of thing in tournaments. And this was eventually officially banned in the KPMC since 2017. And I really can't remember if I've ever seen an Asian pro doing it.

   

5. Be objective and honest when reviewing games, without offending people.
   • Practice this carefully, we could write whole books about this topic. It is great when it goes well, but terribly awful when it doesn't.
6. Gently place stones, do not use too much force.
   • It's pleasant to clack the stones as loud as possible, but it's only pleasant to you.
   • I don't think I have ever seen a single professional clacking stones loudly, be him or her Japanese, Korean, Chinese, American or European. That goes to show that, if you think clacking stones is the right way to go, you're probably actually wrong.
7. Respect handicaps at all costs, be disciplined about it.
   • The minute you go disregard handicaps is the minute you implicitly disrespect the other player, be him/her weaker or stronger. It might seem like a small thing sometimes, but it seeps into many other contexts. For example, it poisons the environment when you get into a review.
     • Even if you feel like the handicap is inaccurate, endure it. Next time, you can politely ask to readjust it; or use the rule of 3 losses/wins in a row and it automatically changes, up or down. This discipline will dissipate the rank doubts in the long run.
8. Nigiri when players have the same rank.
   • Whoever wins this odds-or-even gets Black, it's not about choice actually.
9. If you're the stronger player, avoid playing more than one opponent at the same time.
   • Unless they are explicitly ok with it, they will feel as if their time is not worth your full attention.
10. If you win, wait for your opponent's — sometimes implicit — permission before starting the review.
    • That's how they do it in the KBA as far as I know. In fact, the implicit etiquette for Korean pro players is usually to let the loser speak for most of the review. Reviewing the game is seen as a way of coping with the loss apparently.
11. Sincerely thank your opponent for the game, specially if you win. Mean it.
    • This game is essentially mental fighting, so the same respect martial artists usually show for one another should be replicated to Go.
      • At least fighters can have their wounds on their bodies. Mental games overload the players' psyches.
12. When commenting on the game don't use imperative sentences — e.g. "you should", "this is better", etc. —, prefer exposing opinions — e.g. "I think"/"I believe". Let the other player take what he wants from it, time and experience will tell who's right eventually.
    • There's also the psychological fact that people accept orders more easily if they are posed as friendly — rhetorical — questions.
13. When the game is over, each player should count the opponent's points.
    • This way each player will extract the captured stones of their own color, which will avoid hand-bowl collisions when organizing things. Having people put stuff in your bowl feels like an overreach, since you develop a sense of property over them throughout the game. I know, I know, humans are weird...
    • This one is a speculation of mine: I think that, psychologically, this reduces the likelihood of cheating as well. Most players tend to count much more often their own points than their opponent's, so cheating on the other player's counting process feels a lot shakier if you're gonna try it after the game ended and the shapes have been reorganized.
14. Preferably organize counted territories in pockets of multiples of 5.
    • Personally, I think that rectangular shapes work just as well, if not better. And, surprisingly, I haven't had any complaints, even from pros and high dan amateurs.
      • Multiplying the sides can be easier than recognizing multiples of 5 in odd, weird shapes, though you will get accustomed to these weird but common counting shapes.
      • My favorite counting technique is actually composing the whole territory into preferably only one giant rectangle. This way we have to perform only one multiplication to count the whole thing, instead of adding a ton of smaller pocket-sized territories, which also demands some memory. It's more efficient computationally actually, although it messes up the board more.
    • This also goes for organizing the captured stones, both during and at the end of a game.
15. If you're both using a game clock, please be more patient and nicer than usual. An explicit clock puts even more psychological pressure into the game.
    • Online we don't even need to deal with the clock much, since it's automatic. Having to tap the clock physically is way more annoying than we might expect initially.
16. Unless you're dealing with a total beginner, don't call out ataris. For those who can recognize them, it's a very annoying interruption of the silent flow of the game when this happens.
17. When transitioning between sequences in the review, recollect the current sequence's stones backwards so as to make the process clearer to everyone.
18. If you're the weaker player in the review, preferably, only expose your thoughts when the stronger player leaves a communication opening.
    • In the case of reviews, when I say stronger, I mean considerably so. Usually this means the stronger player is at least 3 stones up. Otherwise both players can come up with — relatively — valuable information quite often.
19. If you're the stronger player and you're not reviewing — probably because you're hurt from losing —, you're doing a disservice to yourself, the opponent and the community as a whole.
20. AIs provide better options, not absolute answers nor explanations. A stronger player's move might have more value than the AI's simply because its explanation makes it more reproducible.
    • A technique that is not reproducible is more like a unique painting than a technique.
21. Using Black and White instead of pronouns and names can be positive with respect to making the review more objective. But using names and pronouns can also help bridge the brutal winner-loser dichotomy.
    • Unlike the simplistic advice people give about being objective in the review, be mindful that there is no simple solution to this problem and that it is a very relevant one.
22. When the game ends, please put the stones back into their respective bowls — after counting and reviewing.
    • This is probably the faux pas that makes more experienced players the angriest, though almost always accidental.
      • If you want to go to the bathroom, either hold it in and quickly put everything in its place or warn the other player. Otherwise he or she will think you ran away expecting to skip organizing everything.
23. Get away from Hikaru no Go's mysticism.
    • This is mostly a beginner's problem, but sometimes you get a single digit kyu (SDK) still wrapped around this mindset.
    • It's just a game, mate.
      • This dismissive statement doesn't defeat the purpose of this article actually. Etiquette and the game itself are basically media by which we interact; interactions which are far more important than the implementation details of the etiquette system or the game. The apparent paradox here is that we couldn't extract proper interactions without going through the less important interfaces of etiquette and the game itself.
      • It can personally become something bigger, but it's a narrative you're gonna have to create for yourself, in a sane and healthy manner.
      • Maybe reading The Myth of Sisyphus, by Albert Camus, will help you out.
24. When playing Pair Go, don't tell your partner where to play, be it implicitly or explicitly.
    • This one seems obvious because it's the most explicitly emphasized rule in Pair Go. But I think that, out of the close to 50 pair Go games I've played, maybe only once or twice have I played the full game without this happening.
25. Don't get mad if your Pair Go partner screws a sequence up.
    • It's understandable — though not easily forgivable — that you would get mad if a sequence you triggered gets destroyed by something that's out of your control, like your Pair Go partner. However, he or she is playing the best possible Go they can and, so, please squash your anger before any words come out of your mouth or any emotions pop on your face.
      • Put yourself in your partner's place. How is it acceptable to be mad at them in a situation where his or her best gets demoralized by a teammate who should be actually helping?
    • This one reveals a total lack of team mentality. Being mad at your partner's screw up because it's the sequence you wanted to see happen is plain old selfishness, something that's easy for people to get addicted to since Go is individual sport.
      • And, ironically, the anxiety you will cause on your partner will increase the likelihood of a screw up.
    • If you're going to lash out on your partner, please do it in private so as to not cause too much shame on everyone.
26. Teach beginners often.
    • If you're not being nice to newcomers and helping them, you're being rude to the whole community.
    • Many more experienced players try to avoid beginners because they are seen as a waste of time since there's such a colossal skill- and time-wise gap between them. However, every one of us was once a beginner; and just imagine the huge impact we could get from advice coming out of expert, black belt minds.
    • And most people severely underestimate the value a beginner provides. Their minds are tabula rasa, they have none of the prejudices we might have already built, they will unconsciously teach us how to think with a truly open mind once again.

Most of what was discussed in the previous section also applies to the online context, but here go some tips which are more specific to the online context:

1. Preferably say "hello" and "have a good game" ("gg").
   • It's basically the internet's — videogamey — version of onegaishimasu.
   • Originally, "gg" was created with the purpose of resigning gracefully in the videogame Starcraft. However, this sort of expression is so simple and versatile that people, both in the Starcraft and Go communities, use it both at the start and beginning of games.
   • 99% of internet players view it as mandatory, but most of the more experienced players, including myself, view it as annoying boilerplate.
     • If you ask high dan players if they consider an opponent rude for not saying "hi gg" at the beginning of an online game, I bet on 9:1 most of them will say something like "I don't care".
     • This might seem contradictory to what was discussed at the beginning of the previous section. But not having the other player physically in front of you changes your experience. Personally, I think a decent attitude at the end of the game is much more important. And decent enough in this context can simply be silence in my opinion.
2. Don't forcibly play fast.
   • Put a lot of asterisks on this one for sure.
   • Some players do play naturally fast, and I don't think there should be a problem with that. But I sometimes see online players trying too hard to play fast in order to destabilize the other player psychologically.
3. Don't escape.
   • This is a niche faux pas to KGS, where the platform allows for getting away of the game without resigning. Please don't ever do this, you will regret it, word gets around.
   • Losing by time seems to make some people almost just as mad.
     • But I, again, don't get it. Specially if you've played some chess, you will realize that winning or losing by time is normal, you shouldn't care.
       • The argument against it revolves around the fact that the loser wants to diminish the value of the win because then he could excuse himself by saying that there wasn't enough time to think. But the fact that there wasn't enough time almost always implies that your opponent put you in a difficult situation anyway, so all the merits to him or her.
         • And don't get me started on some other people saying that it will distort the way the game was won. For example, one player could be losing by 100+ points and the final status of the game would be "win by time". By this insane logic, we would have to always go through the very end, because simply resigning doesn't reveal any point-wise delta in the scorecard anyway.
4. Don't be mad at last minute invasions, they are part of the game, part of life actually.
   • As you get stronger, they happen less and less.
   • What is the problem with final Hail Mary's? If you have a winning position but a portion of your territory is iffy, there is no problem in your opponent questioning it.
     • The funny thing is that almost all DDKs and SDKs are totally dumbfounded when they ask a pro to review their games and the pro finds a million different ways of destroying their moyos.
   • As a personal confession, I've once managed to lose a good friend, when I started playing Go, because he had the habit of last minute invasions. After a bad verbal fight, we never spoke again... I think we were both wrong in the end, but that won't absolve me anyway.

The tips below are some pearls I've found scouring the Go etiquette page on Sensei's Library — I've also paraphrased some of the content.

1. In simultaneous games, play your move when your opponent has reached your table, not while he is away.
   • Or at least point to the move when the more experienced player comes to your table.
2. Only take the stones off the bowl when you're ready to place them.
   • Please, keep your hands off the bowl 99% of the time.
3. Keep captured stones visible at all times.
   • It's very annoying to count the points when this doesn't happen.
   • Tidy them in multiples of 5 too, just like when counting the points at the end of the game.

   

4. Don't play the first move in the corner closest to the opponent's bowl.
   • The usual take is actually for you to play the first move on the upper right. By stretching yourself into that corner you implicitly bow to the White player, which is historically the stronger one, usually the master.
     • However, from poking around with this rule, I realized that most people develop a sense of ownership for the corner that's closest to their own bowl, which might be to their left if the person is left-handed. To me, this unconscious tendency overrides the "play the first move in the upper right corner".

I will never be able to cover all of the possible variations: real-time interactions are too rich for me or anyone to prescribe them all completely. Humans will always come up with something creative and valid in the end. The purpose of this article was to develop intuition about the rules from the reasoning behind them, so hopefully you will be able to categorize as correct or incorrect a variation of the behaviors mentioned above.

Don't let tradition hinder you, though. Those who choose to blindly preserve nonsensical conventions are not in-depth contextual thinkers. Traditions arose from, among many other factors, context and circumstances, we must adapt them when times change.

Click here for the complete post discussion on Reddit.